The ticking time bomb of bad ideas that is Sony’s Spider-Man reboot will start its countdown in December. According to Coming Soon that’s when they’ll start shooting this unwanted attempt to shoo away everyone over the age of 22 who saw the first one, in order to usher in a group of tweens who also saw the first one but are so young they’ll be easily enticed to forget about it.

Right now the inexplicable redo of a franchise which was one of the most successful of all time just a couple of years ago, is set for a July 3, 2012 release date. I’m sure before then my soul will be twisted into a Gordian Knot and I’ll enter some sort of worm hole and come out the other side excited about this ill-conceived project. Maybe I’ll even convince myself that Marc Webb actually had some say in what he’s doing, even though there’s no way in hell that’s even remotely true.

For now I’m still in reality, convinced that this is the most insulting thing Hollywood has ever done to us, as a collective group of movie lovers, and hopeful that Jack Bauer will show up at the last minute to put a stop to it before Andrew Garfield walks down a Los Angeles street in front of a camera attempting to convince us that he’s really in New York because last I checked that’s where Peter Parker lives. Or maybe Sony, since they’ve already pissed everyone off by this film’s mere existence, has decided to really go all the way with turning Spider-Man into some sort of superhero clone of The OC, and they’re actually setting it in the OC. Sure why not, I mean why would Spider-Man need all those tall buildings… to websling from. Maybe they'll shoot in New York City later on. We'll see. Does anyone still care?